One-On-One or Group Friendship, Which Do You Prefer?

Finding your sweet spot for quality time with your friends (not covid related)

Photo by Brett Sayles from Pexels, Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash, Adapted by Author on Canva

The saying “Two’s a company, three’s a crowd” usually refers to romantic relationships. But what about friendships? Does the same hold true? I love one-on-one time with my friends. Spending time with two or more friends is also nice. Which is better, you might ask. It depends on the friend, the relationship, how deep it is. There are some friendships that formed in threes, and it would be strange to meet one-on-one. Some friendships started out as one-on-one, if you add a third, a whole new dynamic takes place.

I sort of like four. Four allows enough chatter, and usually no awkward pauses. You can also “break off” into twos, and no one feels left out while you can still be part of the larger conversational group. In threes, you can get, what Bowen would call, triangulation. Two people unconsciously or consciously align, and the third person either has to make peace amongst them or stay aloof.

I had one friend with whom I used to spend time alone. In those meetings, sometimes she seemed anxious and depressed, but when you added two or three other people into the mix, she became daring, adventurous, talkative. I wasn’t sure how to take it. Was she her “real self” when we were together, and faking it when others were around? Or…